Monday, January 4, 2016

Mental health

Hey there, so I am writing this not to get attention, or for excuses, or for pity. I'm writing this to help me be healthier, and maybe, just maybe, it will help someone else. 
I have been dealing with MILD depression. Again MILD. Not manic, not sever. And I'm certainly not an expert on depression, but just wanted to share my story. 
So for a few months now, I've been battling feelings of worthlessness, feeling like I'm stuck in mud. Feeling like I can't get anything done, even though I knew what had to be done, and when I was "normal", could get the stuff done. I avoided things I usually liked. Like getting my hair done, going out, hanging out with people. Making and holding plans seemed so hard. This christmas was exceptionally stressful. I enjoyed parts, but felt it was more stressful then anything.  I even struggled to find excitement in my kids everyday. I love them, and can care for them,  but felt unmotivated.  I guess everything should be in present tense since I still feel this way. I am still depressed. 
Physically, I fell tired, my stomach hurts all the time. My arthritis is acting up. i don't want to exercise, and I want to eat Sugar, ALL THE TIME! I'm just not well.
I went to my midwife today who specializes in women's care through out life. So she's not just a "mama and baby" doctor. She gave me a test and we discovered it was mild depression, not just stress. Which I half thought it would be. I mean three kids, and playing single mom most the time, is stressful. It's hard to take care of ME when I'm taking care of everyone else. Putting everyone else first. Which being a mom and wife I expected. But there comes a time, when you need to take care of yourself. I need to take care of myself to fill in the gaps that Jordan can't fill in taking care of me. 
So because I have mild depression and not just hormonal problems, my doctor is not putting me on any medication right now. What she is doing, is putting me on a diet. I'm to iliminate most grains and dairy. No processed foods. This will be similar to Paleo. I'm too eat only organic and grass fed meat and fish, only clarified butter and healthy fats. Lots of veggies and hardly any fruits or nuts. I can eat cheese and yogurt if organic and raw. I need to exercise 30 minutes daily as well as get acupuncture twice a month. Oh and try to get sleep. Basically eat better, exercise and get sleep. We are cleansing my body of toxins. Sounds simple even though it's not. 
So I'm going to be trying this new diet and I do ask that you not give me recommendations and try this try that. I'm working with my doctor and another nutritionist. But I will accept support and encouragement. Lol I really hope that this diet works because my doc said it should help with my gut and arthritis. Which I agree with. I really don't want to be on a bunch of meds, pills, etc. 
so this is my life right now. If anyone reading this just doesn't feel like themselves, I encourage you to go to the doctor.  Get help sooner, rather then later. Feel better now, well soon. Lol 
My love to all