Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Ellarina Aurora : a birth story

Ellarina Aurora Thibodeau

July 22nd 2017

8:50am 8lbs 7oz 21 inches

Ellarina's labor started around 36 weeks. My body was preparing its self for a long time. At my 36 week appointment I was already a 4 on the outside and a 2 on the inside. For the next two weeks I would have contractions that felt like the real deal. I went into L&D twice thinking it was time. After being sent home twice, I decided to just suck up the contractions and really wait. It was hard because I was just ready to have her out of me. I was super uncomfortable, heartburn and pain with sleepless nights because of contractions.
My doctor went out of town so I was trying to keep baby in and wait till he got back, close to my due date. I had an appointment with a different doctor Friday July 21 at 3pm. So I planned to just have my membranes stripped for the fourth time and make an appointment with my doctor the next week when he was back.

Friday morning around 1am I had strong contractions for an hour and a half. They subsided enough for me to sleep till they woke me up again from 4:30-5:30am. After that point I was having contractions off and on all day. But I knew I had an appointment and figured there'd be no change. I planned to have my mom take the kids, but Jozette ended up needing to go to the doctor. We had been exposed to whooping cough, and Jozette was the only one showing potential symptoms. So mom took Jozette and Tristan to the doctors, and Bella came with me to my doctors appointment. I called Jordan before my appointment and asked him to come with but he said he had work to do quick, and to just call after.

At my appointment she checked me, said I was a 5. I asked 5 on the outside? She said no a complete 5 and I should go to the hospital. She couldn't feel babies head, so she did a quick ultrasound. Baby was head down, so she sent me on my way. Needless to say, I was shocked. I guess all those contractions were doing something. But I wasn't currently in pain. I called Jordan and told him it was go time. He needed to leave work and meet me at home.

I dropped Bella off with my mom and the other kids and traded cars. I headed home and started packing. I was still feeling ok, some contractions but nothing big. I called my doula and the birth center and let them know I was going to the hospital. My doctor still wasn't in town, so I was going to deliver with whomever was on call. Luckily it was a very nice and supportive doctor, Dr. Abrahamson. I also had wonderful nursing staff.

I got to the hospital around 5pm. My doula showed up and we got me admitted. I got an IV set in my hand in case I needed pit or a Csection, they then put this most amazing monitor on, that I wish I had a picture of. It stuck to my skin, so no tight bands around my stomach. It monitored my contractions, the baby and was able to go in the water.

I really didn't want to get sent home again, and because I was only at a 5 and not having regular contractions, and baby was not dropped into my pelvis, it was time to move. I walked and walked, and squatted and bounced on the ball. I hopped in the tub to try and move things along.
While in the tub, jordan and I finally found a name we liked and agreed on. This is how well I was doing. I got checked after two hours, just to see what was going on. I was at an 8. An 8!!!! I didn't feel like an 8. I wasn't in a lot of discomfort. And my past two deliveries I had gone from a 6 to a 10 in 30 minutes. How could I be at an 8 and not close to pushing? I was still walking and laughing with my doula. Jordan was sleeping. My nurses found it funny I was fine at an 8.

 I kept feeling rushed (because I expected my labor to be faster), and my doctor assured me, first I wouldn't be going home, and second that I had time. Baby and I were fine. She offered to break my water slowly to let baby drop, but wanted to be careful because the cord could prolapse. I decided to wait longer. Now time has begun to escape me. I didn't know the time. Finally I think it was around 1am I still hadn't delivered, my water still hadn't broken, and baby was still up. I was still at an 8 and my contractions started to get uncomfortable and I was exhausted. I was up for 24 hours. So I asked for something to help ease the pain and let me rest. I took a drug like Benadryl. I told everyone to go rest and that I would get them when I needed them. I tried to rest for maybe two hours, but nothing was helping. I got maybe 30 minutes of sleep. I debated back and forth getting an epidural. I was not part of my birth plan. I was going to have another natural birth. Plus I knew the risks. I knew that it could lead to a Csection. My options now were to break my water slowly with pain meds or without to get things to progress if I wanted  to be done.  I was so close, just needed baby to drop, and once she did, i would finish progressing and she'd be out. I fought with myself. I talked to my labor nurse, to jordan and to my doula to decide. Finally I decided on an intrathecal. This is like a half epidural. It only last a couple hours but still numbs from the waist down. I think I decided to get this around 6am. They had to give me a bag of saline first. After the bag was done, they asked me again if I was sure, and I wasn't, but then decided yes! At 7:30 the anesthesiologist came in. We had to move slow and fast at the same time. For 30 minutes I was sitting on the edge of the bed, having the same intense contractions and pressure with no change. He had to work around them so I wouldn't move. At one point I was getting a contraction and had to be completely still. That was hard. I was so nervous that things could go wrong. That I could have lasting effects from this. That my baby could. But the reliefs was so nice.

I got it done, we broke my water and all looked good. Within 30 minutes I was relaxed dilated, and she was moving down. I couldn't feel it. Until I did. I progressed so fast and it wore off fast. I could feel the pressure building, and tried to just breath her down and out,  but that wasn't working. The doctor had me try to push, and she moved. I went from my back, to being able to feel my legs, to being on hands and knees. I was finally at the point were I didn't care I was naked. I didn't care what was going on. But the pressure was so different. I couldn't feel my body pushing, so I had to decode to push. I literally had to push through the pain.
My doctor said to me, "Tiffanie, you have to push. Yes it's going to hurt. But the only way to make it stop is to push her out." Well it gave me the boost I needed.   I flipped to my side, had someone grab my leg, and I pushed with all I had. Apparently I'm good at pushing because the doctor wasn't ready. I could feel her head coming out, and saw the doctor scramble to finish getting ready, telling me to slow down. Nope, I wanted her out! It hurt, I actually said it hurt and made noise. Little bit of yelling noise. Normally I'm quiet. I yelled, "someone catch her!" The doctor and nurse said head is out, slow down so we can get the shoulder out. Man did it hurt, I swore I had torn and kept asking. I pushed her out and they laid her by me. I couldn't move I was still in so much pain. And the cord of the placenta touching me killed. Every pain receptor in my crotch was heightened.  I finally delivered the placenta, baby had pooped so they cleaned her up a bit, and then they gave me a shot in my thigh of pit, and a rectal pill to help keep me from hemorrhaging.
I finally was feeling better, she checked me and no tearing, so that was great! They pushed on my uterus, that always hurts like Hell! Everything was looking good. I was in disbelief as I looked at my baby, that she was here! At 8:50am she was here! The surprise kid. The kid we didn't know we were going to have. What a blessing. I held her and snuggled her. We did this for an hour and a half before weighing her. She pooped, a lot. And had to keep being cleaned. Jordan and I thought she looked so small, and for being 5 days early, thought she was our smallest baby. We finally weighed her, she was 8lbs and 7oz, and 21 inches long. Almost the same as Bella and she looks like Bella. She ended up being our second biggest baby.

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Jozette 16 months

I suck at journal writing, so I'm writing it here. 
Jozette can talk, she can. She can say words, such as; hi, bye, dad(dy), mom(mama), yeah, yay, uh oh, butt (thanks to Bella and Tristan), up, hot, banana, night-night and Bella. Oh and hi-ya, but does that count as a word or a sound? That's thanks to watching Tristan at karate.
She also speaks in sentences. She says, "I did it!" " what's that?" And "All gone."
She can sign; more, please, drink, eat, and finish. 
Jozette is one smart cookie. I think watching her older siblings has helped her. She figures out how to move things, so she can climb or reach other things. She knows that time to go means get your shoes. She tries to put them on, and loves to play with shoes. She can throw away her own diaper in the genie and helps put the wipes and changing pad away. She's been walking for three months and now does a slight run. She dances, squats, and can lift a 3 lbs weight with both hands/arms. She can get on the iPad, find her box labeled baby, and open one of her apps. Yeah, that was a shocker in church during Sunday school. She's observant, loves her siblings, and is a goofball. Blows raspberries, and laughs all,the time. Pokes you and laughs. Give you innocent smiles, and flirts with older men. Like 20'and older. She is super social, but still a mamas girl. Such a happy spirit. I love her! 

Monday, January 4, 2016

Mental health

Hey there, so I am writing this not to get attention, or for excuses, or for pity. I'm writing this to help me be healthier, and maybe, just maybe, it will help someone else. 
I have been dealing with MILD depression. Again MILD. Not manic, not sever. And I'm certainly not an expert on depression, but just wanted to share my story. 
So for a few months now, I've been battling feelings of worthlessness, feeling like I'm stuck in mud. Feeling like I can't get anything done, even though I knew what had to be done, and when I was "normal", could get the stuff done. I avoided things I usually liked. Like getting my hair done, going out, hanging out with people. Making and holding plans seemed so hard. This christmas was exceptionally stressful. I enjoyed parts, but felt it was more stressful then anything.  I even struggled to find excitement in my kids everyday. I love them, and can care for them,  but felt unmotivated.  I guess everything should be in present tense since I still feel this way. I am still depressed. 
Physically, I fell tired, my stomach hurts all the time. My arthritis is acting up. i don't want to exercise, and I want to eat Sugar, ALL THE TIME! I'm just not well.
I went to my midwife today who specializes in women's care through out life. So she's not just a "mama and baby" doctor. She gave me a test and we discovered it was mild depression, not just stress. Which I half thought it would be. I mean three kids, and playing single mom most the time, is stressful. It's hard to take care of ME when I'm taking care of everyone else. Putting everyone else first. Which being a mom and wife I expected. But there comes a time, when you need to take care of yourself. I need to take care of myself to fill in the gaps that Jordan can't fill in taking care of me. 
So because I have mild depression and not just hormonal problems, my doctor is not putting me on any medication right now. What she is doing, is putting me on a diet. I'm to iliminate most grains and dairy. No processed foods. This will be similar to Paleo. I'm too eat only organic and grass fed meat and fish, only clarified butter and healthy fats. Lots of veggies and hardly any fruits or nuts. I can eat cheese and yogurt if organic and raw. I need to exercise 30 minutes daily as well as get acupuncture twice a month. Oh and try to get sleep. Basically eat better, exercise and get sleep. We are cleansing my body of toxins. Sounds simple even though it's not. 
So I'm going to be trying this new diet and I do ask that you not give me recommendations and try this try that. I'm working with my doctor and another nutritionist. But I will accept support and encouragement. Lol I really hope that this diet works because my doc said it should help with my gut and arthritis. Which I agree with. I really don't want to be on a bunch of meds, pills, etc. 
so this is my life right now. If anyone reading this just doesn't feel like themselves, I encourage you to go to the doctor.  Get help sooner, rather then later. Feel better now, well soon. Lol 
My love to all

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Annabella's first recital

Today was a dream come true! Last year we put Bella in dance at an amazing studio, N'motion, which is owned by my dance teacher. Many of the classes were taught by my old classmates. We loved it there. Sadly, when we moved, we couldn't go there anymore. 
So this year we signed Bella up at Showcase Dance studio. And Becky the owner had worked with Saeah at Anoka High School dance team. So small world. This studio is also next door to Tristan's karate dojo. So everything is close and in town. Any who, there were a few things that I wasn't loving about this studio, but, the teachers are nice, and bella likes it. Also the older girls do have good technique, so that's promising. I will just have to sign Bella up for tumbling and some extra classes. But I digress, this day was a fun exciting day. Bella had been practicing her dance since day one for this recital. She was excited to wear her costume, have her make up done, and dance on stage. I too was looking forward to these things. I remember my mom doing my makeup and hair and feeling pretty. And I love dance, loved being on stage, so it's fun to see bella doing the same thing, and liking it too. 
We got ready, and went to the wrong school. So instead of being 5mins early, we were 10 minutes late. But we didn't miss anything, still had plenty of time. Bella looked fantastic, and did fantastic. 
She knew all of her steps, and got to be in the center and front. I was so proud of her, I cried. I've turned into my mother. Lol. She was so beautiful, was having fun, and brave. Her whole class did well. Although it was on a gym floor and not a stage, it still was so fun. 
I got Bella after her dance, and we watched the other classes. Bella kept saying, "I'm a pretty dancer, and danced on stage. Everyone clapped for me!" " I want to dance like those girls! (The older classes)"
Jozette was dancing and clapping and enjoying it too! So I think she will be a dancer too. Bella wants Jozette to dance with her. After the recital, we went to dinner at Pizza Ranch. It was pretty good. Overall, Bella said it was the best day ever!  Here are some of the dance pictures, which you might have seen on facebook. Lol love my tiny dancer! 

Ren fest

We went to the Renaissance festival in late August. This has been a traditon for me since I can remember. It's fun to share it with my kids and jordan now. I'm going to let the pictures speak for themselves. Bella and Jozette are fairy princesses and tristan a knight, and I a Lady. Jor has no costume yet. Some year. It was fun having my mom with us too, as she instilled the traditon. 
We saw the fire show, fairy forest, puke and snot, ate beer cheese soup in a bread bowl, 2 pickles, the best chocolate macaroons, burgers, ice cream, and I think that's it. I actually only ate the soup and macaroon. Had lots of Apple cider and water since it was hot. Loved looking at the shops, watching a very cool science show, and just being at the fest. 

Sunday, October 4, 2015

General conference notes

These are mostly for me. Just my quick notes from conference, of the sessions I was able to watch and actually take notes. 

Thomas S monson
I am different. I living the gospel and upholding morals will make me different. I living the gospel will be the light in this darkening world. I need to read my scriptures, pray, and do the same with my family. 

Elder Nelson
I am important to the church, to my husband. I need to be organized, be the teacher of what is right. Raise sin resistant children. The lord loves me, I am a daughter of God! I am needed, and important. I need to set the standard and example of righteousness in my home. 
Man was designed to be with woman. I need to be vigilant in keeping the spirit in my home. To discern evil and deception. Our world is going to get worse on battles of morals, the church is going to be under attack. I need to be strong in my faith. 

I need to keep the sabith day holy. 
People are attacking the laws of God given since the start of time. We need to share that there is a loving Heavenly Father, savior Jesus Christ, and restored truthfulness of the gospel. 
Happiness and peace can be secured in this life, by living his Commandments. 

The Holy Ghost can help us resist temptation, discern truth from deception. Our faith in God is verified by Holy Ghost. We need a constant influence of truth. We need the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. But we can do things that prevent the Holy Ghost from being with us. 
When you are doing what's right the holy ghost is with you. When you feel the spirit telling you to do something, do it! Then you will be brought closer to constant companionship and making more right decisions. The lord will send his spirit to help when you act on the correct impressions. 
Taking the sacrament, keeping the baptismal covenants will help keep the spirit with you, as promised in the prayer. 
We can receive comfort from the Holy Ghost if we make habit form when we are young of reading the scriptures and praying, and asking for the Holy Ghost to be with us. 
We also need to repent often  and be clean. 
The spirit will enlighten your mind and bring you joy. 

Tuesday, September 22, 2015


Public Service Announcment: Our family is becoming cheap, frugal home bodies. 
As many of you know, jordan has been working long hours and we don't see him much. We have a two year plan to get rid of all credit card and loan debt. With that said, starting in October we are cutting our spending tremendously. What this means is, less going places, eating out, and spending less on gifts. Please know that we are putting a $20 limit on gifts for others. If you wish to spend that same amount or less on my kids, I am fine with that. I'm also cutting back my driving and only going to one fun place a month aside from driving for errands which I already try to consolidate. 
I don't want jordan to have to work like this forever, so every extra penny is going to help us reach our goal. It's only for two years. You could say, we are going on a money mission. Lol We are also going to be combining our kids birthday parties. This way I only have to spend money on the food, location, favors, etc, once. 
We've already cut up all credit cards, switched to basic phones to save on our phone bill, and only have Netflix. No cable or other TV services. We got rid of all monthly member ships, and are only keeping dance for bella and karate for tristan. I also make a weekly gas and shopping budget and make my menu fit into that. 
Now You might be asking what Jor and I get to do for fun? 
Well we are trying to make it a point to go on a date once a week, and have it be a mostly free activity and can then go out to eat and only spend $20. Saturday's are our days to do this, or get stuff done, or see friends. Sunday's will be family day and church. Trying to spend that time at home, so the kids can see jordan. 
I'm doing Bella's preschool at home so I don't have to pay for that, and I am only doing facebook Usborne parties so I'm not spending extra money on that. 
It's amazing all these things we can cut out so we can live simply, and reach our goals. It's hard, but will be worh it. Like Dave Ramsey says, "live like no one else, so you can live like no one else" basically, be cheap till out of debt, so you can have the freedoms later. 
I know if Jor and I both work hard, stick to the budget and have faith in the Lord, we can accomplish our goals. Debt really is bondage, and I feel a slave to a master when paying off debts. I don't want to feel that way. I want to pay cash for everything, have a large savings for emergencies, and spend smart. Thus I will be able to help those in need, help my children, have money for retirement and be ready for whatever finance trial comes our way. 
So please bare with us as we make finacial family changes for the better. 
(I'm even debating selling the acura, but it is nice to have a car that though it's a 2008, doesn't need any major work done to it, aside from a slow leaking tire, and is reliable incase the van ever crapped out. Which by the way is running suburb with all the work Jor has done to it. It's nice having a paid off vehicle, and a sexy mechanic who works on it.😉)

Our awesome basic touch phones. I miss my iPhone, but am making due. 
Had to put jewel stickers on my phone to tell it apart from Jordan's. They don't make many cases for it.