Thursday, March 31, 2016

Jozette 16 months

I suck at journal writing, so I'm writing it here. 
Jozette can talk, she can. She can say words, such as; hi, bye, dad(dy), mom(mama), yeah, yay, uh oh, butt (thanks to Bella and Tristan), up, hot, banana, night-night and Bella. Oh and hi-ya, but does that count as a word or a sound? That's thanks to watching Tristan at karate.
She also speaks in sentences. She says, "I did it!" " what's that?" And "All gone."
She can sign; more, please, drink, eat, and finish. 
Jozette is one smart cookie. I think watching her older siblings has helped her. She figures out how to move things, so she can climb or reach other things. She knows that time to go means get your shoes. She tries to put them on, and loves to play with shoes. She can throw away her own diaper in the genie and helps put the wipes and changing pad away. She's been walking for three months and now does a slight run. She dances, squats, and can lift a 3 lbs weight with both hands/arms. She can get on the iPad, find her box labeled baby, and open one of her apps. Yeah, that was a shocker in church during Sunday school. She's observant, loves her siblings, and is a goofball. Blows raspberries, and laughs all,the time. Pokes you and laughs. Give you innocent smiles, and flirts with older men. Like 20'and older. She is super social, but still a mamas girl. Such a happy spirit. I love her! 

Monday, January 4, 2016

Mental health

Hey there, so I am writing this not to get attention, or for excuses, or for pity. I'm writing this to help me be healthier, and maybe, just maybe, it will help someone else. 
I have been dealing with MILD depression. Again MILD. Not manic, not sever. And I'm certainly not an expert on depression, but just wanted to share my story. 
So for a few months now, I've been battling feelings of worthlessness, feeling like I'm stuck in mud. Feeling like I can't get anything done, even though I knew what had to be done, and when I was "normal", could get the stuff done. I avoided things I usually liked. Like getting my hair done, going out, hanging out with people. Making and holding plans seemed so hard. This christmas was exceptionally stressful. I enjoyed parts, but felt it was more stressful then anything.  I even struggled to find excitement in my kids everyday. I love them, and can care for them,  but felt unmotivated.  I guess everything should be in present tense since I still feel this way. I am still depressed. 
Physically, I fell tired, my stomach hurts all the time. My arthritis is acting up. i don't want to exercise, and I want to eat Sugar, ALL THE TIME! I'm just not well.
I went to my midwife today who specializes in women's care through out life. So she's not just a "mama and baby" doctor. She gave me a test and we discovered it was mild depression, not just stress. Which I half thought it would be. I mean three kids, and playing single mom most the time, is stressful. It's hard to take care of ME when I'm taking care of everyone else. Putting everyone else first. Which being a mom and wife I expected. But there comes a time, when you need to take care of yourself. I need to take care of myself to fill in the gaps that Jordan can't fill in taking care of me. 
So because I have mild depression and not just hormonal problems, my doctor is not putting me on any medication right now. What she is doing, is putting me on a diet. I'm to iliminate most grains and dairy. No processed foods. This will be similar to Paleo. I'm too eat only organic and grass fed meat and fish, only clarified butter and healthy fats. Lots of veggies and hardly any fruits or nuts. I can eat cheese and yogurt if organic and raw. I need to exercise 30 minutes daily as well as get acupuncture twice a month. Oh and try to get sleep. Basically eat better, exercise and get sleep. We are cleansing my body of toxins. Sounds simple even though it's not. 
So I'm going to be trying this new diet and I do ask that you not give me recommendations and try this try that. I'm working with my doctor and another nutritionist. But I will accept support and encouragement. Lol I really hope that this diet works because my doc said it should help with my gut and arthritis. Which I agree with. I really don't want to be on a bunch of meds, pills, etc. 
so this is my life right now. If anyone reading this just doesn't feel like themselves, I encourage you to go to the doctor.  Get help sooner, rather then later. Feel better now, well soon. Lol 
My love to all

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Annabella's first recital

Today was a dream come true! Last year we put Bella in dance at an amazing studio, N'motion, which is owned by my dance teacher. Many of the classes were taught by my old classmates. We loved it there. Sadly, when we moved, we couldn't go there anymore. 
So this year we signed Bella up at Showcase Dance studio. And Becky the owner had worked with Saeah at Anoka High School dance team. So small world. This studio is also next door to Tristan's karate dojo. So everything is close and in town. Any who, there were a few things that I wasn't loving about this studio, but, the teachers are nice, and bella likes it. Also the older girls do have good technique, so that's promising. I will just have to sign Bella up for tumbling and some extra classes. But I digress, this day was a fun exciting day. Bella had been practicing her dance since day one for this recital. She was excited to wear her costume, have her make up done, and dance on stage. I too was looking forward to these things. I remember my mom doing my makeup and hair and feeling pretty. And I love dance, loved being on stage, so it's fun to see bella doing the same thing, and liking it too. 
We got ready, and went to the wrong school. So instead of being 5mins early, we were 10 minutes late. But we didn't miss anything, still had plenty of time. Bella looked fantastic, and did fantastic. 
She knew all of her steps, and got to be in the center and front. I was so proud of her, I cried. I've turned into my mother. Lol. She was so beautiful, was having fun, and brave. Her whole class did well. Although it was on a gym floor and not a stage, it still was so fun. 
I got Bella after her dance, and we watched the other classes. Bella kept saying, "I'm a pretty dancer, and danced on stage. Everyone clapped for me!" " I want to dance like those girls! (The older classes)"
Jozette was dancing and clapping and enjoying it too! So I think she will be a dancer too. Bella wants Jozette to dance with her. After the recital, we went to dinner at Pizza Ranch. It was pretty good. Overall, Bella said it was the best day ever!  Here are some of the dance pictures, which you might have seen on facebook. Lol love my tiny dancer! 

Ren fest

We went to the Renaissance festival in late August. This has been a traditon for me since I can remember. It's fun to share it with my kids and jordan now. I'm going to let the pictures speak for themselves. Bella and Jozette are fairy princesses and tristan a knight, and I a Lady. Jor has no costume yet. Some year. It was fun having my mom with us too, as she instilled the traditon. 
We saw the fire show, fairy forest, puke and snot, ate beer cheese soup in a bread bowl, 2 pickles, the best chocolate macaroons, burgers, ice cream, and I think that's it. I actually only ate the soup and macaroon. Had lots of Apple cider and water since it was hot. Loved looking at the shops, watching a very cool science show, and just being at the fest. 

Sunday, October 4, 2015

General conference notes

These are mostly for me. Just my quick notes from conference, of the sessions I was able to watch and actually take notes. 

Thomas S monson
I am different. I living the gospel and upholding morals will make me different. I living the gospel will be the light in this darkening world. I need to read my scriptures, pray, and do the same with my family. 

Elder Nelson
I am important to the church, to my husband. I need to be organized, be the teacher of what is right. Raise sin resistant children. The lord loves me, I am a daughter of God! I am needed, and important. I need to set the standard and example of righteousness in my home. 
Man was designed to be with woman. I need to be vigilant in keeping the spirit in my home. To discern evil and deception. Our world is going to get worse on battles of morals, the church is going to be under attack. I need to be strong in my faith. 

I need to keep the sabith day holy. 
People are attacking the laws of God given since the start of time. We need to share that there is a loving Heavenly Father, savior Jesus Christ, and restored truthfulness of the gospel. 
Happiness and peace can be secured in this life, by living his Commandments. 

The Holy Ghost can help us resist temptation, discern truth from deception. Our faith in God is verified by Holy Ghost. We need a constant influence of truth. We need the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. But we can do things that prevent the Holy Ghost from being with us. 
When you are doing what's right the holy ghost is with you. When you feel the spirit telling you to do something, do it! Then you will be brought closer to constant companionship and making more right decisions. The lord will send his spirit to help when you act on the correct impressions. 
Taking the sacrament, keeping the baptismal covenants will help keep the spirit with you, as promised in the prayer. 
We can receive comfort from the Holy Ghost if we make habit form when we are young of reading the scriptures and praying, and asking for the Holy Ghost to be with us. 
We also need to repent often  and be clean. 
The spirit will enlighten your mind and bring you joy. 

Tuesday, September 22, 2015


Public Service Announcment: Our family is becoming cheap, frugal home bodies. 
As many of you know, jordan has been working long hours and we don't see him much. We have a two year plan to get rid of all credit card and loan debt. With that said, starting in October we are cutting our spending tremendously. What this means is, less going places, eating out, and spending less on gifts. Please know that we are putting a $20 limit on gifts for others. If you wish to spend that same amount or less on my kids, I am fine with that. I'm also cutting back my driving and only going to one fun place a month aside from driving for errands which I already try to consolidate. 
I don't want jordan to have to work like this forever, so every extra penny is going to help us reach our goal. It's only for two years. You could say, we are going on a money mission. Lol We are also going to be combining our kids birthday parties. This way I only have to spend money on the food, location, favors, etc, once. 
We've already cut up all credit cards, switched to basic phones to save on our phone bill, and only have Netflix. No cable or other TV services. We got rid of all monthly member ships, and are only keeping dance for bella and karate for tristan. I also make a weekly gas and shopping budget and make my menu fit into that. 
Now You might be asking what Jor and I get to do for fun? 
Well we are trying to make it a point to go on a date once a week, and have it be a mostly free activity and can then go out to eat and only spend $20. Saturday's are our days to do this, or get stuff done, or see friends. Sunday's will be family day and church. Trying to spend that time at home, so the kids can see jordan. 
I'm doing Bella's preschool at home so I don't have to pay for that, and I am only doing facebook Usborne parties so I'm not spending extra money on that. 
It's amazing all these things we can cut out so we can live simply, and reach our goals. It's hard, but will be worh it. Like Dave Ramsey says, "live like no one else, so you can live like no one else" basically, be cheap till out of debt, so you can have the freedoms later. 
I know if Jor and I both work hard, stick to the budget and have faith in the Lord, we can accomplish our goals. Debt really is bondage, and I feel a slave to a master when paying off debts. I don't want to feel that way. I want to pay cash for everything, have a large savings for emergencies, and spend smart. Thus I will be able to help those in need, help my children, have money for retirement and be ready for whatever finance trial comes our way. 
So please bare with us as we make finacial family changes for the better. 
(I'm even debating selling the acura, but it is nice to have a car that though it's a 2008, doesn't need any major work done to it, aside from a slow leaking tire, and is reliable incase the van ever crapped out. Which by the way is running suburb with all the work Jor has done to it. It's nice having a paid off vehicle, and a sexy mechanic who works on it.😉)

Our awesome basic touch phones. I miss my iPhone, but am making due. 
Had to put jewel stickers on my phone to tell it apart from Jordan's. They don't make many cases for it. 

Friday, September 11, 2015

My FB post

I have gotten a lot of wonderful feed back from so many about a recent article I posted on facebook that I felt I related to in some ways. 
So I should clarify a bit. I know the Lord loves me. I, in this worldly state, feel like I'm trying so hard at so many things and not succeeding. Things that do need to be done, And I am struggling to get it together. No I don't feel like leaving the church, but I feel inactive since I struggle to make it to sacrament. I feel I need to have well behaved children at all times, clean house, be in shape, look good ( both to my definition), be a great wife, be a happy church member. This isn't real. I know trials are good and help us grow. But honesty I need to put the lord and my family first. But doing so has been a struggle lately. I'm stuck on glue. Even ask my husband, my energy has lacked. I wonder if I do have some hormone imbalance that is aiding in how I feel. 
Now please know, jordan is wonderful, and my faith is wonderful. I in no way am saying jordan, or the Mormon doctrine  is why I feel this way. It is because I haven't been putting the Lord first that this has been this way. I know this. Just knowing and doing, are two different things. Doing takes time, practice, routine. 
Also, no I don't have cause to meet with the bishop either, except to say, hey, I might need help in becoming a better member and child of God. 
I thank everyone for their kind words. For letting me know, I a, not alone. I don't like to make things a big deal, or draw attention to myself for drama sake. But I kinda did. In doing so, it did let me know I really have great friends everywhere willing to help. And that is one beautiful lesson to learn. 
Thank you